Ever since I “cashed out” of my last big operational company in late August of 1999, I have felt as if I were being “hunted” by both skillful and unskilled sportsmen.  Most of the conversations with these predators would start the same way, “Ron, I am stuck and you are the sharpest (fill in the blank) business person I know.”  They would close by saying, “I’d just like to get a few minutes with you, perhaps over lunch (at which point, they always make sure that I know they'll be paying) you name the place, I need only a short amount of your time.”

In the beginning, I was being contacted around a dozen or so times a year.  This was something that I could easily handle and, in fact, I enjoyed listening to the business stories of these aspiring entrepreneurs. But as we got into the latter part of 2001 and especially after 9/11, the up tick was more than perceptible.  In fact, it was downright overbearing!
 
I had also just started my talk radio show around this time … so you could easily make the case that I was “asking for it”.
 
Since many saw these lunches as a tacit agreement to move on to the next step and as the number of requests continued to grow, I simply stopped agreeing to go.  As such, the conversations and e‑mails became more strident.  They would generally dispense with any small-talk and go right to something like, “Ron, I am in significant trouble with (fill in your favorite supplier and/or government agency here), and I really need to see you and talk to you.  I normally wouldn’t bother a person as busy as you, but this is extremely urgent, my wife is on the edge of a nervous breakdown, and my kids are even going without food.”  These people wanted to meet that very same day.  

Although they provided little to no background data on their predicament, they were not the least bit shy in asking for huge sums of money.  Instead of a financial statement, statement of sources, and uses of cash, people were bringing two or three of their employees and suppliers (e.g., accountant, lawyer) with them.  The sole purpose of these folk’s job was apparently to “sing back-up” testimony for the original entrepreneur’s tale of woe.
 
In addition to the first “type” of wanna-be borrower (which itself had since grown to more than 100 unique contacts per annum), I was also now dealing with about half as many of these “emergency” cases.
 
Back when he was still alive, my Grandfather (Jim Huddart) often counseled me on many things.  Everyone should have a grandfather like mine because Grandpa Huddart believed in one thing and one thing only … THE TRUTH.
 
I once asked Grandpa, “How did you and Grandma stay married for so long? What is the secret?” (Their final tally was 63 years.)
 
His answer? “I never lie to your grandmother, and she never lies to me.”
 
This was a condition borne of both necessity and heritage. Heritage, I’m sure you understand. Necessity? Well, life can give you hard times. And it is during these hard times (they had the depression as well as WWII to deal with) that hard people are forged.
 
In hard times (especially) the single most important person for one to have a truthful relationship with is that guy in the mirror. With that guy, there is no time for wishful thinking, excuse making, and/or overall escape from the present realities. To the contrary, the guy in the mirror demands truth. Without truth, he programs himself illogically. Without truth, he breaks down.
 
One of my Grandfather’s favorite phrases was stolen directly from ole’ Billy himself, “Neither a borrower nor a lender be.” (When he had the time to study Shakespeare always mystified me.), So if a guy cannot look you in the eye and say, ‘”I need money,” your job … your very OBLIGATION to both you and your family is to say, “So do I, buddy … so do I”.
 
But, and over the years, I have made a few “adjustments” to this immutable law in order to accommodate those guys who truly are mentally tough and thus do have a reasonable chance of not only paying you back, but also of making you a whole bunch of money.
 
“Soft” guys? They almost never pay you back, and again, it was always my Grandfather’s most compelling desire to avoid “soft” guys altogether.
 
So what is a “soft” guy?  Well, a “soft” guy is just what he sounds like --- SOFT. HE was raised soft and he has no intentions of ever taking responsibility for his life. Generally, he is easy to spot … slick dresser, always running from “important lunch to important lunch”, even though not one of his “important lunches” every involves him generating any money for his business.  Oh, and there is one more way you can spot this buzzard … he can’t couldn’t change a tire if his life depended on it!
 
But as is the case with learning any craft, I am now slowly but surely learning how to control those who are continually coming after my money.  I’ve done this simply by learning how to say no.  No is not an easy word to master.  In fact, it’s a very difficult word to master.
 
But I can tell you that the sooner you master it, the better your life becomes.  And it is absolutely, without a doubt, a direct correlation.  Take no calls and have no grief.  Take some calls and have some grief.  Take every call knowing that you just purchased a one-way ticket to the nuthouse.  
 
Have a great day!
 
Ron